Joke Of The Day #3 : NO GOLF, GAMBLE, BEER AND SEX

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?!!" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?" I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex.


:)

My HOBBIES # 2 : Jungle Camping 1 . "A Camping Must-Haves"

One of my favorite outdoor activities not a very long time ago is camping, especially for those who love communing with nature. Camping would be a good way to have an adventure while exploring the hidden terrain of the wilderness. But that's a 6-7 years back story. Nowadays, with my hectic career and my status as a father to 2 girls, it's very hard for me to find time for such activity.....wish I could do this again somedays :P . But to say, I still want to share with you some tips on jungle-camping. Hope I can find a new activity partner here among you readers :)

Preparation

Yes, there might be some fun in doing activities as dictated by one's impulse. But camping, especially if one has never done it before needs preparation. This means bringing the proper equipment, medical, and food supply. Remember the wild is not called "the wild" for nothing.

Tips on how to pack for a camping trip:

1. First Aid Kit

A camper without a first aid kit in his or her bag is either a descendant of Mcgyver or Tarzan. You'll never know when accidents might happen; especially when going to those more untamed locations. The best thing to do is to be prepared for the unexpected, and bring some essential medical supplies, which include gauze pads, band aids, iodine solution, milk of magnesia, etc.

2. Cooking Utensils

Campers cannot live on jungle food alone! Well, technically speaking maybe they can; but after about ten of those delicious treats they'll start to long for a more nourishing meal. So be sure to bring pots and pans that can be used to cook hot, delicious dishes.

3. Food Supply

Campers who are planning to go on a prolonged camping trip should bring enough food to last them the duration of the trip. Stock up on plenty of bottled water. Also, a lot of instant, prepackaged, or canned foods will come in handy, especially for those new campers who might not be so confident when it comes to their hunting skills!

4. Comfort Stuff

Aside from tents and sleeping bags, one can bring whatever floats their boats. When camping outdoors, this will be one's home away from home. It is then a must to bring whatever will make one as comfortable as possible, such as blankets, tent heaters, lamps, toiletries, contact solutions, sunscreen, books, etc. Your pet don't have to be left at home either. As long as you will be able to handle whatever your pet's instincts will dictate him to do when at the great outdoors, let it tag along.

Camping is one fun activity for those who want to take a break from the hustle and bustle of the city life. What better way to have some peace and quiet while enjoying the great outdoors than going camping and being adequately prepared while at it, right?

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Joke Of The Day #2 : Owwhhhh....Muthu

*MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: "What is your birth date?"
Muthu : "13th October."
Interviewer : "Which year?"
Muthu : "Every year."
*****

*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview.....
"Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Muthu replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O-X."
*****

*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: "No! Why?"
Mut! hu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'... that's why."
Wife : ?????????
*****

*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, "No sir, only babies were born here."
*****

*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!"
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he ! cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, ! it becomes deaf."
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."
*****

*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard

"* WASH BASIN * "
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."
*****

*Oh... and the finale ............. the funniest...*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????????
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "*PRESS*" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!


:)

Joke Of The Day #1 : Yummy Peanuts

A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens. As he's driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn't eat them.

"We can't chew them because we've got no teeth", she says.

So, the puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The little old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them!!"


:)

SHARE THIS INFO # 7 : How STRESS Affects Your Immune System

Have you ever noticed that you tend to get sick more often when you're stressed out? Scientists have noticed this connection for a long time, but until recently they couldn't explain it. While a big project at work or the loss of a loved one isn't going to give you the flu, it can decrease the functioning of your immune system and make you more susceptible to the flu and other infections.

It may surprise you, but short term stress actually boosts the immune system. Increased immune functioning is associated with the "fight or flight" response related to short term stress you know will end. This is because our body is still trying to adapt to beat the stressor instead of just letting the stress bear down. The problem with this is that a majority of our stress is continual over a long period of time.

Long term stress is what actually decreases our immune functioning. The worst kind of stress is not only long term, but stress we think we can't control or see an end to. For example, while meeting a deadline at work may cause a decrease in our immune functioning; it's probably not as bad as stress caused by a debilitating accident. When we think the stressor is beyond our control and may never stop, our body feels it can't cope with the stress and it begins to take its toll. This kind of stress causes a drop in almost all immune functioning.

For regular, long term stressors, the decrease in immune functioning becomes greater with time. This means even if you feel you are in a position of control, long term stress such as a high power job, can build up and gradually decrease your disease fighting abilities.

Another important factor to consider when looking at the immune system and stress is that the decrease in immune system functioning is greater for people who are elderly or already sick. This is likely why older people who are severely injured or have recently lost a loved one are much more likely to die within a year than those who haven't had these circumstances.

You may think, "Well, I'll drop my stress level and I'll be fine". However, studies have show that traumatic events can stick with us and affect our immune system long after the stressor is gone. If a person was in an accident, was attacked, or experienced a traumatic loss, they can show decreased immunities years later. The best way to increase immunities in this case is to undergo treatment for the trauma.

In addition to causing a decrease in immune system functioning, stress can also make you more susceptible to other long term diseases, such as cardiovascular disease. If you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle you should include activities and a proper diet that promote a less stressful lifestyle.

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TIPs # 4 : 3 Tips To Reduce Work-Related Stress

Are you feeling tired and burned out? Has financial worries or work stress caused you to loose that day-to-day enthusiasm that gives you “bounce” and high feelings of energy?

Sometimes in life burnout is irreversible and the original feelings of joy and enthusiasm for a pursuit will never be regained. But of course that does not mean that you will not feel excitement and enthusiasm for new pursuits in life. It is your duty to learn from your experiences and use that knowledge and take care to attend to your own needs in the future.

Below are 3 tips that can greatly reduce your levels of stress from work and tension within your working atmosphere:

1. Learn to use time-management techniques at work and be sure to include time for rest and relaxation every day. There is nothing wrong with taking many little breaks throughout the day to gather you thoughts, breath, and relieve that stress.
   
   If you cannot get up from your desk at work every 30-60 minutes or are so embedded with a home business project that you do not want to take that many breaks, then try simply try putting your head back, stretch, close your eyes, and just breath for a minute or two before you get back to work. Sometimes that is all it takes!


2. Recognize that in order to do a good job and meet the challenges of work, you must put equal time and care into your body and spiritual needs. Without energy there is little taste in life.
   
   Without a spiritual “peace of mind” you cannot enjoy what you are working for each and every day. Feel your body and mind like you would your stomach with food. Read motivational material, exercise, and eat nutritionally dense foods. The quality of life enhancement that you will feel from these simple steps alone will help you work harder, relieve stress, and attract more good things into your life.


3. Learn to prioritize your tasks and start delegating or outsourcing the ones that can be done by other people whom possess the talents to do so. The problem with those of us that want to be successful, whether moving up the ladder of success in the corporate world, or focusing on building a home based business, is that we tend to want to do everything ourselves.
   
   We get so swamped with all of the little jobs that make up the big projects. We want the quality to be the same as if we were doing the job. We want to do it all. This can only spell failure. Yes, do as much as you can, but learn to “let go” by outsourcing what you can. Your stress levels will decline and your well-being will thank you for it.

:)

Just For FUN # 9 - Tagged for BLOG Promotion

***Start Copying Here***

I have randomly selected 5 of you below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You will have to tag 5 other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. (Do not replace, just keep on adding! Yes we hope it will be a long list!)

It’s real easy! Tag others and see your Technorati Authority increase exponentially! The benefits of Viral Linking:- One of the fastest ways to see your Technorati authority explode!- Increase your Google PageRank fast- Attract large volume of new traffic to your site- Build your community- Make new friends!

The Strategist Notebook ~ Link Addiction ~ Ardour of the Heart ~ When Life Becomes a Book ~ The Malaysian Life ~ Yogatta.com ~ What goes under the sun ~ Roshidan’s Cyber Station ~ Sasha says ~ Arts of Physics ~ And the legend lives ~ My View, My Life ~ A Simple Life ~ Juliana RW ~ Mom Knows Everything ~ Beth & Cory’s Mom ~ A Mind Forever Voyaging~ enjoying the ride ~ Jennifer’s thoughts ~ Mom of 3 Girls ~ Amanda ~ Cronaca ~ Don’t Make Me Get The Flying Monkeys ~ ExPat Mom ~ Just Jessie ~ Wilson Six ~Krisitn ~ Nuttier Than You ~ Shonnte ~ Summer’s Nook ~ Laura Williams Musings ~ Sher ~ Observer ~ Shanda ~ Seven QTPies ~ Mel ~ Skittles ~ Lady Banana ~ Auntie Dar’s Life ~ A Total Blog ~ Blog and chat of Hanna ~ Jemari menari Sismimi ~ MaMaN @ Take A Break Club !!! ~

***Stop Copying***

Sismimi's tagged me..."MaMaN (jgn coba2 larik ye..)"....ahaks!!!....thanks sis!!!..Now, it's my turn to tag 5 bloggers to continue this game! ermmmm..I tag..

1. Azra
2. Boobu
3. Retchel 1980
4. Belle
5. Digital Polaroids

Hehehehh..... enjoy the tagging guys !!! Hope you do this TAG or the consequences will be bad....very bad....(see above picture!!!...you sure don't want me to "wrestle" you like that huh ???!!! :P)...

:P

TIPs # 3 : How Daily Exercise Can Diminish The Effects of Stress

Even though exercise may not be the most exciting word in your vocabulary, it sure is a word with a lot of benefits. Participating in daily exercise will not only make you healthier in general, but it can also diminish the effects of stress on your body as well.

Think about all the times you have heard someone say "the doctor says it's stress related". Normally people will laugh it off, concluding that doctors say that when they don't know the real answers or diagnosis. The truth of the matter is that too much stress will play a role in many diseases.

To help increase your immune system and decrease your stress level as well, try exercise, as movement is the key word here. Bending, stretching, reaching and walking. There's really no need to buy any expensive equipment either, as you can implement more movement into your daily routine and reap the benefits.

If you like aerobic exercise, you should grab a partner and have a blast with one of the basic aerobic videos. Or, you can simply go out for a walk and enjoy spending time together. As you may have heard, walking really is the best overall exercise you can do for your health. As long as you have a pair of walking shoes, you'll be fine.

As you go through your daily activities, make it a point to walk a little farther, bend down and pick something up without using a pick up stick or moving the item towards you with your foot. While you are sitting, you should also do some simple and quick stretches for your neck and shoulders.

If you enjoy sitting around watching television, you should consider buying a jogging board. These padded boards will make running, jumping, or walking in place less stressful on your knees and joints. They are easy to store as well and also very portable.

In many people's opinions, jogging boards are the best pieces of equipment you can buy. They are also far cheaper than bulky treadmills and stationary bikes.

There are several different exercises that you can do to help you eliminate the stress in your life. Walking is by far the best, as you can easily lose yourself and your troubles by walking. Even if it is just around the block, walking can do wonders for your health as well as stress.

If you have a lot of stress in your life, you may want to consider a gym. Working out then sitting in the sauna is also a good way to relieve tension. If your gym has a pool, you may find swimming to be very beneficial as well, as it helps you to relax.


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Just For FUN # 8 - I Love You This Much Award

This LOVELY AWARD comes from my lovely AZRA BONEYTA. See that picture??? Cute heh??!!..hehehehh. Like that picture, she is one of my favorite friend; lovely, cute, sweet, and kind. Love to read her post, love to watch her cat and love to comment in her post(goshhh....she will response to your comment in no time :P) - in short "I LOVE HER THAT MUCH TOO.."

Thanks Azra!!!


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Just For FUN # 7 - Chain Of Friendship Award :D

Chain of Friendship

I am proud receiving this "Chain Of Friendship" award from Aunt Nora. Never expect she will put me in the recipient list. Just can't express how grateful I am to have such a loving friends around me. Thanks Aunt !!! You are so sweet and lovely :)

I wish to share this GIFT(birthday gift??? :P) with Shai , Azra, Waliz, Sexymom , Angriani and sismimi. You guys ROCK !!! :D

And last but not least, i would like to share this Golden Chain of Friendship poem to ALL my fantastic friends out there. Enjoy!

Friendship is like a golden chain,
The links are friends so dear,
And like a rare and precious jewel,
It's treasured more each year.

It's clasped together firmly
With a love that's deep and true,
And it's rich with happy memories
And fond recollections, too.

Time can't destroy its beauty
For, as long as memory lives,
Years can't erase the pleasure
That the joy of friendship gives.

For friendship is a priceless gift
That can't be bought or sold,
But to have an understanding friend
Is worth far more than gold.

And the golden chain of friendship
Is a strong and blessed tie
Binding kindred hearts together
As the years go passing by.

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Just For FUN # 6 - Adorable Friends Award...

Hehehehhheh......I got another Award from Angriani.....NICE heh?!! :)

You're my friend because you're always there,
If there's sadness around or in the air,
At night, in the morning or anytime of day,
You're there to cheer me up and chase the sadness away.

I just want to thank you for all you've done,
You've helped me through a lot, you're really number one.
Thanks for all the good times that we share,
It shows that you're one who really does care.

Thanks for being there when time got rough,
You make it easier when times get too tough,
Thanks for being there each and every day,
Thanks for being you in that very special way.

Because this is such a NICE AWARD, I'm happy to share it with my friends list :-

Shai | Azra | Waliz | Angsawariko | Belle | Nancy | Aunt Nora | Boobu | Ricka | Retchel | pu3 | sismimi | DigitalPolaroids | Millot | and all readers of this BLOG :)

Thanks for accepting me into your friends circle !!!

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TIPs # 2 : How To Save Money

In this world today, prices seem to go higher every year. Saving money can sometimes be a hard job for many people. To help you save money, here are some pointers for you:

• Determine the things that are important to you. Identify the items that you need and the items that you want to have. Always remember that you should only buy things that are important and needed in your lifestyle.


• Make sure that you spend your money only on basic needs like food, transportation, shelter, and clothing. These basic needs are worth spending for because these are important for your health and security. They are the things that you cannot live without and should be allotted in your budget.


• Make a list of the things that you want to buy and be sure that the items that you are buying are good enough to sustain your basic needs. You have to be satisfied with the things that you have now, as long as it is still useful and can accommodate your needs.


• You may avoid unwanted purchases by trying the item first before buying it. This is to make sure that the item is worthy enough to acquire. There are instances that you tend to buy things without even knowing its effectiveness and quality. You have to keep in mind that you always need to spend your money wisely on items that have quality and are according to your budget.


• You may try to budget your money in advance. You can make a plan first before spending your money. There are instances that you spend your money without even thinking that it is not the right time to have it. It also advisable to buy items at the end of the season, prices at this time of the year are low and cheap.


• You may compare items on their prices. Do not limit your options to just one store only. You may find the best item that can be useful and affordable to you by window-shopping first rather than buying by impulse. Many stores out there carry the same items and can offer lower prices.


• You can save more money in your household by conserving electricity. Be sure to turn off appliances that are not in use. You may compare your monthly electric bills regularly to check if you are maintaining your desired bill.


• You can save on your transportation by traveling wisely. It is recommended that you make your itinerary to help you to not forget your destinations. Being organized will help you save money and time.

Any more useful tips??? Share it here.... :)

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Just For FUN # 5 - Lovable Blog Award

I got invitation today. Invitation to Angriani House. She asked me to wear "lawa-lawa" because there's a surprise for me....hehehehh.

So I did.

When I reach there, guess what, I received this Lovable Blog Award !!! NICE !!! Thanks to you sis!!! I LOVE IT !!! :)

And I dedicated this short poem for you sis :

If kisses were water, I will give u a sea
If hugs were leaves, I will give u a tree
If LIFE was a planet, I will give u a galaxy
if friendship is life I will give u mine

MaMaN Say's....# 10 - Year Of The Rat & My Never Ending Rat Race World

HOROSCOPE PERSPECTIVES OF ME ???

HORSE 1990 1978 1966 1954 1942

You are opposite to the governing sign “rat”. You may lose money easily. You may get into accidents or sicknesses. Beware of arguments, controversies, and legal problems. Hence you should take things easy and drive carefully. Your regular income would be fine, just no gambling or speculations.

WORK:	Stay at your job. This is not a good year for you to change jobs. However, if your line of work involves travel, you would do well.
WEALTH:	Your regular income is ok. There is not much speculative income. If you gamble, you would lose.
ROMANCE:	Your romances are weak. Do not consider marriage this year. Beware of arguments.
HEALTH:	Be careful of accidents which may cause bleeding. Pay attention to your heart and blood pressure.

=================================================================

Lose money ???! Weak Romances ???! Heart and Blood Pressure risk ???! Legal Problem ???!

WOW !!! What a hell of year is this???

Well, if you can see, this is not a very good year for me(at least from the Chinese view).... but heck that! Every year is still the same to me. I'm still in the middle of this stupid "rat race" world.

What is the “rat race?”

Here it is : - Every morning, you get up and prepare yourself to go to work - shower, breakfast, get dressed, travel by bus/train or drive your car, work from nine to five, get home to your family and have dinner, watch television or read the papers, then off to bed till the next morning.

You get two to three weeks paid vacation/sick leave each year and occasional overtime work. You get paid by your employer for your services every payday. If you don’t like your job anymore, you find another employer for better pay. Year in, year out, it’s the same routine. You work for somebody else, not for yourself. You focus your efforts in making somebody else richer. That is the “rat race.”

All too often, people are trapped in this race that they never bothered to know where they are headed. They only notice it at times when they run short of cash for unexpected expenses or when they realize what will happen to them when they reach retirement age. And still they forget about it and do nothing to improve their lives.

I need to get out of the “rat race” as early as possible. To achieve this, I need to change my way of thinking - from thoughts of working as an employee for someone else, to thoughts of being in control of my own time and money. This doesn’t mean I will quit my day job right away. I might spend my free time learning and actually implementing moneymaking activities while still working as an employee. Once I am financially secured and have enough knowledge on acquiring wealth, that’s the time to get out of the “rat race” and start enjoying my life.

Hmmmm.....quite a plan huh???...hahahhahh....whatever lah....heheheh :)

The bottom line is this: It is all right to be an employee, but don’t stay as one for long. I’m talking from experience. Better do something about it now.

What do you think my dearest friends ??? Any suggestion for me???

note : you can find your own 2008 prediction HERE

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SHARE THIS INFO # 6 : Egg Piracy??? -MUST READ-

There's a rumors saying that some of the "mamak" stalls using pirated eggs when preparing orders of 'roti chanai with telor'. Shocking, isn't it??!!! Following was a article taken from one of the magazine in China :-

During a recent raid on a wholesale centre in Guangzhou city, the capital of China’s Guangdong province, a large quantity of fake eggs was seized.

Their wholesale price is 0.15 yuan (S$0.03) each - half the price of a real egg.

Consumers have a hard time telling a genuine egg from a fake one. This is good news for unscrupulous entrepreneurs, who are even conducting three-day courses in the production of artificial eggs for less than S$150.

A reporter with Hong Kong-based Chinese magazine East Week enrolled in one such course.

To create egg white, the instructor - a woman in her 20s - used assorted ingredients such as gelatin, an unknown powder, benzoic acid, coagulating material and even alum, which is normally used for industrial processes.

For egg yolk, some lemon-yellow colouring powder is mixed to a liquid and the concoction stirred. The liquid is then poured into a round-shaped plastic mould and mixed with so-called ‘magic water’, which contains calcium chloride.

This gives the ‘yolk’ a thin outer membrane, firming it up. The egg is then shaped with a mould. The shell is not forgotten. Paraffin wax and an unidentified white liquid are poured onto the fake egg, which is then left to dry.

The artificial egg can be fried sunny-side up or steamed. Although bubbles appear on the white of the egg, those who have tasted it say the fake stuff tastes very much like the real thing.

But experts warn of the danger of eating fake eggs. Not only do they not contain any nutrients, a Hong Kong Chinese University professor warned that long-term consumption of alum could cause dementia.

Some of the steps :

To make the egg white, various ingredients, including a powder and alum, are mixed together.

The ‘yolk’ is shaped in the round mould. ‘Magic water’ containing calcium chloride is used.

Hardy shells are formed by pouring paraffin wax and a liquid onto the egg, which are then left to dry.

But to say, even this article is quite a shock, I still wonder how they make it.....I just don't get it.They make the egg white liquid? The egg yolk?The egg shell?How they put all in one piece like real egg???

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